You read it here first. (Or should have.)

On Wednesday, Puppygate hit the front page of the New York Times. Yes, almost a month after you read it right here.

And that really means something, because I'm not exactly known for my timely grasp of current events. (This morning, for instance, in the story about the Illinois shootings, I learned that it was the fifth campus shooting in a week. This was quite shocking, not only for the obvious reasons, but because I knew nothing of the previous four. I blame my local NPR affiliate's twelve day fundraising drive during which no news was delivered, because they were too busy trying to convince me to give my hard-earned money to support Walter Furley's editorials.)

We can measure its importance by noting that Puppygate got frontpage billing on the day that Hillary Clinton spoke in Corpus, probably the first relevant political figure who's done so since the time Taft came to visit and the only hotel in town had to install an extra large bathtub.

The Times, being the Times, offered dismayingly straightforward coverage, lacking any "Shi Tzu" jokes or comparisons of the mayor's mansion to the Waco Compound. Sigh. Instead they offered erudite historical perspective on how the last notable thing that happened in Alice was ballot stuffing for LBJ. Fine.

Now with the mayor of Alice appearing on the Today show, this story has officially blown the f up. That's all I'm saying.