The Shitzu hits the fan.

Lest you fear that we lack political shenanigans around here... Oh, no.

The mayor of nearby town, Alice, stole a dog. But it's so much better than that. This is not your mom's dog theft, oh no. This one has intrigue, obstruction of justice and identical twins involved:

Friends asked her to dogsit Puddles while they went on vacation. She called them and told them that the dog had died. Weeks later, they saw Puddles being groomed at the local pet store. Upon inquiry, they were told that the mayor had dropped off her dog, renamed Panchito, at the store. The mayor refused to return their calls demanding Puddle/Panchito's return.

Shortly thereafter, the called the police to report that the dog had been stolen. The police searched both houses and found no dog.

When reporters approached the mayor for comment, she claimed that she was not the mayor, but the mayor's identical twin sister, though occassionally she would slip and answer to "Mayor." This pathetically thin subterfuge proved her undoing. Reporters located the ranch of the twin and found Puddles/Panchito.

Sadly, the lawsuits will be in state rather than federal court.

The Corpus Christi Caller Times, as the worst newspaper in the entire history of our nation, failed to provide any original coverage of Puppygate. Because they suck.