Thanks, but no thanks

Saturday, I got a haircut. (Not that much, don't panic.) So my interaction with my new hairdresser, Irma, was going along pretty normally. She inquired whether I was married and offered (unsolicited) consolation that there's still plenty of time, though she had not at that point inquired about my age. Fine.

Well, I guess she was assuming I was much younger than I am...perhaps because I was wearing a very silly horse-print shirt that I originally purchased for my high-school-aged goddaughter, but decided to keep formyself. Because when it came out that I'm 29, she got all shocked and said how I look so much younger. Again, this wasn't a problem and I was still taking it as a compliment.

But what I didn't put together was what the real cause of her shock was. Apparently, while whatever age I appeared to be (24? That seems to be a popular guess) is plenty young enough to be single, 29 is not.

I'm reminded of a friend who lived in Japan at age 26 and was told she was "Christmas cake--nobody wants it after the 25th."

Anyway, I discovered this thought process of hers because when she finished with my hair and I told her I liked it, she exclaimed, "See! We'll get you a husband."

This sort of consolation is strangely often on offer around here. I did not express concern about getting a husband. Very strange. And while I'm sure she meant well, I felt obliged to respond, "Please don't get me one here. I'll be stuck."

After that exchange, of course, I was unable to inquire about what I'd now really like to know: "Just for future reference, what haircut would get me a husband?" Cuz if it's the one I've got now, I'll be sporting a ponytail or hat at least until I move.