Friday, November 30, 2007
Salty Characters I've met in the Great State, #5 in a list
5. The attorney who pronounces corroborrate as "co-wob-o-rate." Repeatedly. Strangely, he pronounces the second "r" correctly, so I know he's capable of it...
Thursday, November 29, 2007
New (to me foods), #4 in a list
4. Buttered edamame.
Everyone who has glanced in my freezer knows that I love edamame. I keep it frozen at all times. It is easy, fast and healthy. Except at Utopia. They apparently do not find it easy, because they managed to get it wrong. Way wrong, and take about 15 minutes to do so. And soaked it in butter.
Everyone who has glanced in my freezer knows that I love edamame. I keep it frozen at all times. It is easy, fast and healthy. Except at Utopia. They apparently do not find it easy, because they managed to get it wrong. Way wrong, and take about 15 minutes to do so. And soaked it in butter.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Overheard at Thanksgiving
Senile Grandfather [looking around at our Thanksgiving table, peopled with 30 family members he doesn't remember]: These are some really nice people here.
My counsin Anne: Yeah, they are nice people. And good-looking too.
Grandfather: Good-looking? Well... I guess some of them.
My counsin Anne: Yeah, they are nice people. And good-looking too.
Grandfather: Good-looking? Well... I guess some of them.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
New (to me) foods, #3 in a list
Yeah, I'm dropping the "fried" requirement.
3. Frito pie hamburger. Yes, a burger with a frito pie on top of the patty. The quarter of the burger that I ate surely took several years off my life. And I can't say the frito pie added too much to my enjoyment. I mean, it added a certain crunch...much like lettuce would... except with more chemicals and transfats.
Wikipedia informs me that Dairy Queen also serves a frito pie burger. Hmm. It also informs me that in the Midwest, frito pie is known as a "walking taco," a fact begging several questions: Isn't mobility part of a taco's appeal? How easy is it to walk with a frito pie, which is way messier than a normal taco? What resemblance does frito pie even bear to tacos, which traditionally contain none of the same ingredients? But that is an issue for another day.
3. Frito pie hamburger. Yes, a burger with a frito pie on top of the patty. The quarter of the burger that I ate surely took several years off my life. And I can't say the frito pie added too much to my enjoyment. I mean, it added a certain crunch...much like lettuce would... except with more chemicals and transfats.
Wikipedia informs me that Dairy Queen also serves a frito pie burger. Hmm. It also informs me that in the Midwest, frito pie is known as a "walking taco," a fact begging several questions: Isn't mobility part of a taco's appeal? How easy is it to walk with a frito pie, which is way messier than a normal taco? What resemblance does frito pie even bear to tacos, which traditionally contain none of the same ingredients? But that is an issue for another day.
Labels:
Dairy Queen,
executive surf club,
food,
fried,
frito pie,
hamburger,
midwest,
taco,
transfat,
wikipedia
Overheard on the Radio this Morning
"Is that chill in the air autumn or do I feel the Cold War returning?" Seriously, the "news" guy on 99.1 uttered this sentence. We'll note that today's predicted LOW is 70. The only chill to be found is the one that ran down my spine when I was subjected to such patent fearmongering before I'd even had my morning coffee.
Fortunately, I was able to warm up again when Walter Furley stoked the fires of my hatred with "The Way I See It," his weekly editorial on the local NPR. (Oh, Walter Furley, how I hate you.) As the CC readers know, WF (or should I say W[t]F [1]) has previously offered such mind-blowingly trite editorials as:
Fortunately, I was able to warm up again when Walter Furley stoked the fires of my hatred with "The Way I See It," his weekly editorial on the local NPR. (Oh, Walter Furley, how I hate you.) As the CC readers know, WF (or should I say W[t]F [1]) has previously offered such mind-blowingly trite editorials as:
- You Shouldn't Speed Because I Once Saw a Speeder Hit a Poodle and That Was Sad;
- Don't Litter, Because When You Mess With Texas, You Mess With Yourself; and
- Smile. [Yes, truly, a whole editorial about how smiling uses more muscles than frowning and how when you smile you'll feel better. Surely this qualifies as the most insipid message uttered, at least since that guy at that cocktail party tried to seem like a Nice Guy by blathering about how personality is more important than looks if you want to find love. It is as though W[t]F is developing a Chicken Soup for the NPR Listener's Soul, but hasn't gotten around to the cutesy stories yet, just the punchlines that we've all already heard from other Chicken Soup books and inspirational calenders and chats with grandmas.]
But today, Walter reached beyond his standard pablum [or at least claimed to]:
"I have just discovered the answer to all the problems in the world."
Um, delusions of grandeur much? [2]
"I have just discovered the answer to all the problems in the world."
Um, delusions of grandeur much? [2]
You're certainly interested in aforementioned panacea. Well, after a brief and stunningly uninformative introduction about chamber music, said answer arrived. LISten. Yes, that's right, LISten. [3] LISten to your spouse and you might prevent a divorce. [This is news?] LISten to your children and they will grow up better adjusted. LISten to the other members of your chamber ensemble and you will perform as a more cohesive unit, bringing joy to the audience. I can't. I can't say much about it. I will merely note that while in many cases this LISten concept is so obvious it goes without saying for anyone except Walter Furley, his catholicon claim overreaches. There is at least one person to whom you can listen and still despise. That person is Walter Furley.
[1] Because, really, what the fuck. Who decided that he should get an editorial? How does he persuade himself that this embarrassment should be aired?
[2] If the hubris of Icarus had a one night stand with the megolomania of Charles Manson, the first words uttered by their love child might just be, "I've found the answer to all the problems of the world."
[3] Yes, he did pronounce it that way, every time, with the strangely intense emphasis on the first syllable. Walter Furley may be the originator of the theory that "Frito" needs a strangely intense emphasis on the second syllable, as in, "Wouldn't it be a great idea to put some fri-TOE pie on this hamburger?" I reject this pronunciation regardless of provenance, but will do so with more glee and vigor if it comes from W[t]F.
Editor's Note: Still hating my inability to do proper footnotes. I heart footnotes.
Labels:
"The Way I See It",
Cold War,
editorial,
fearmongering,
footnotes,
frito pie,
hubris,
Icarus,
megalomania,
NPR,
serial killers,
Walter Furley
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Awesomest E-Card Ever
I got a sonnet for my birthday, written especially for me. It a little bit makes me feel like one of those girls in old-timey photos in a lacey white dress and pantaloons sitting in a tree reading a miniature book waiting to go to the ice cream social. I think those women would get sonnets for their birthdays. But probably not as good as mine.
Shall I compare thee to a N'vember Day?
How could that cel'brate you at twenty-nine?
The year retires awash in dreary gray,
while you, soul lively, radiantly shine!
That light, alas, away from I was led,
but distance cannot lessen friendship's bond.
You're sharp of mind, witty, and well-read,
such gifts not often found in tall and blonde.
Flaxen locks are not a saintly habit.
Rest this night from your pro bono labor;
venture out, find golden ring, and grab it.
Drink and dance with men who find your favor!
Assured you age with beauty and finesse,
I wish you, on your birthday, happiness!
Labels:
birthday,
e-card,
ice cream social,
pantaloons,
sonnet,
Val
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Entries I was going to write:
1. There was going to be a query about the number of restaurant supply provisioners in Corpus. A recollection about when I noted many in New York and thought, "Ok, that seems like alot, but there are many many restaurants opening and closing all the time..." as contrasted with my comical assesment of CC's dining options. It was going to offer unexpected economic insights, the likes of Freakonomics, and the general triviality of this blog would make an amusing retrospective when said entry formed the basis of my Economics Ph.D. work and subsequent best-seller.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
I heart Go Fug Yourself.
First with the Emily Valentine post, which succintly and effectively summarizes everything great about Emily Valentine. [Impressive since there is so truly much great about her that one tends toward the prolix.]
I wasn't going to mention that, because maybe I'm the only one who cares.
But now with the SMG (aka Buffy) post, I can't let it go unsaid. Mostly because it's also about culottes, which were also an important part of my life for the formative 3rd and 4th grade years. [My tour of various Catholic schools allowed me to experience the full range of uniforms, from the culottes with sailor shirt and tie (seriously) to the plaid jumper to the ridiculously short navy pleated skirt.] A review suggests that maybe I'm still the only one who cares. But that's what blogs are for, I suppose.
I wasn't going to mention that, because maybe I'm the only one who cares.
But now with the SMG (aka Buffy) post, I can't let it go unsaid. Mostly because it's also about culottes, which were also an important part of my life for the formative 3rd and 4th grade years. [My tour of various Catholic schools allowed me to experience the full range of uniforms, from the culottes with sailor shirt and tie (seriously) to the plaid jumper to the ridiculously short navy pleated skirt.] A review suggests that maybe I'm still the only one who cares. But that's what blogs are for, I suppose.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Overheard on the Airplane
So I'm sitting on a flight, when the old-ish man sitting next to me gestures to my ipod, and goes "What's that?" It was in an iPod sock/cozy, so I thought that was the mystery, so I pulled it out and said, "my iPod."
His response, "Oh, I thought maybe you had a gun."
So flabbergasted was I, my mind absolutely overflowing with questions--Um, WHAT? What are you talking about sir? Do you know something I don't know or do you know NOTHING AT ALL? When did they start making small, rectangular guns with white wires sticking out? Would said gun be made of plastic or wood, such that it would remain undetected? If I had gone to such lengths to obtain such a novel weapon, would I really just admit it, "Oh, this? It's my small, rectangular, plastic gun." Is this meant to be funny? Cuz last I checked jokes on airplanes about guns aren't really the order of the day...--so flabbergasted that I was wholly incapable of summoning my average level of sarcasm and could merely muster a "yeah... guns... they should really get someone to check for those..."
His response, "Oh, I thought maybe you had a gun."
So flabbergasted was I, my mind absolutely overflowing with questions--Um, WHAT? What are you talking about sir? Do you know something I don't know or do you know NOTHING AT ALL? When did they start making small, rectangular guns with white wires sticking out? Would said gun be made of plastic or wood, such that it would remain undetected? If I had gone to such lengths to obtain such a novel weapon, would I really just admit it, "Oh, this? It's my small, rectangular, plastic gun." Is this meant to be funny? Cuz last I checked jokes on airplanes about guns aren't really the order of the day...--so flabbergasted that I was wholly incapable of summoning my average level of sarcasm and could merely muster a "yeah... guns... they should really get someone to check for those..."
Labels:
gun,
ipod,
loony people,
national security,
overheard,
unanswered questions
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)