Update on my doppelganger, my (lack of) dating life, my status as a victim, and my concerns about local media

So you may recall my recent(ish... I know I haven't written in a bit) posts regarding my asserted resemblance to Katy Kiser of channel 3 news, as discovered when her (ex?)husband hit on me.

Well now for the rest of the story. So her purportedly ex-husband, a federal agent, hit on me one night at a bar, which seemed fine, aside from the slightly creepy "You look like my ex-wife" vibe, but you know, in Corpus you can't be too choosy.

So the next night, I'm out in d-town, and whom do I bump into, but the same guy, which is again fine, because he smelled very nice and lavished me with compliments. So anyway, my friends and I join him for a drink and then when we decide it's time to go he gives us a ride to my car, because we're parked several blocks away. On the short walk from his car to mine, I cross paths on the sidewalk with a small group of youths, one of whom grabs my purse and they all take off running.

Things were seeming dire, except that my agent friend immediately begins pursuit and manages to arrest them within minutes. Awesome. SO awesome. So we're making statements to the police, at which point the news shows up. (No, not channel 3.) I attempt to avoid being filmed, and thought I had succeeded, but on Monday I was informed by a coworker that she had seen me and though I wasn't facing the camera, she could tell it was me from my hair and "the way I stand like a charlie's angel." (To this day, I have no idea what that means.)

Yes. I was on the news. Though I have never seen the footage, I'm told the voiceover said "Robbed at gunpoint! Luckily, they were with a federal agent." If only my coworker were the only one to discuss said story with me.

But no. That Thursday, I go out for happy hour, and whom do I see there, but Katy Kiser, with aforementioned agent. I attempt to be inconspicuous and avoid, but eventually she comes up to me. And goes on a LONG, drunken, passive-aggressive rambling speech about how when she heard that her husband had saved a couple of law clerks, she just assumed they'd be "dumpy and badly dressed." Then, she informed me, she saw me on the news "with high heels and a halter top" and was totally shocked. This ramble went on for at least five shockingly awkward minutes until I cut her off by thanking her for calling me less ugly than expected. This, I think, was actually the most awkward moment of my life.

More awkward than that Saturday, even, when I bumped into a friend of hers at a party (small world, much?) and was informed (threatened?) about how very married the couple in question continues to be. I think I actually uttered the sentence "I'm the victim here!" but I'm not sure.

So there now seems to be some segment of the CC population that knows and hates me as That Slut Seen Canoodling with Katy Kiser's husband. And I feel that local newscasters are bad enemies to have. (One can imagine, for instance the story lead-in "Theft victim? Hardly. This local law clerk wants to steal your man!" etc.)