Further adventures in bacon

Wednesday I made bacon fudge. And it's pretty good.

That's all I have to say about that.

Say what?

Old people say weird things. Fine. But my boss has a way of coming up with stuff that totally overwhelms the giggling 6th-grade boy within me. 

"Figured I better get high behind and do it." 

Huh?

And then he always registers my confusion and wants to talk about it, forcing me to (1) try not to speak to him like I think he's a crazy old person; and (2) not giggle while repeatedly saying and hearing phrases like "high behind." 

I correctly used context clues to understand the phrase as "hurry up." And then got his invented etymology on it about how when a jockey rides faster his ass is in the air. (And again making me want to joke about him looking at jockeys' asses...)

Fine. We have exchanges like this all the time.

But this week, he really went too far. Referencing a defendant, he said, "They're gonna jerk his pen/pin." They're gonna what?!? 

No context clues this time, so I have no idea what he's talking about. He registers this fact and offers the following explanation: 

"It's what fraternity brothers do to one another. "

Seriously.

In what way would that conceivably clarify? And can I take a moment to congratulate myself on not DYING laughing at that point?

(The entire meaning of this one remains unclear. Apparently at some point in time when you wanted to kick a frat brother out you took (jerked?) his pin. What connection this has to a medicare fraud defendant... that's anyone's guess.)